Tori Smith 4/21/25 Tori Smith 4/21/25

Therapy for Childfree by Choice Individuals in California

Embracing your choice to live authentically

I have noticed over the course of my career that there is a gap in therapeutic care for those who choose to be childfree by choice. Culturally there is still rarely a conversation around the complexities of choosing not to have children, and how to navigate the changes that you can experience in your relationships and the pressures you may feel from friends and family. There is so much vulnerability and strength in owning your decision to live authentically. I work with individuals who are on the fence about having kids as well as those who are confidently childfree to help them explore what life can look like outside of the social norm.

Therapy is a space for you to explore your feelings about your choice and navigate any challenges that may arise. Whether you're facing judgment from others, questioning your decision, or dealing with family expectations, I am here to help you process your emotions and strengthen your sense of identity. Therapy can also help you embrace the freedom and fulfillment that comes with your decision, allowing you to create a life that aligns with your values.

We will focus on enhancing your self-acceptance, managing any guilt or doubts, and addressing any external pressures you may feel. We will also explore how to foster meaningful connections and pursue personal growth in ways that are authentic to you. My goal is to help you feel empowered in your childfree journey, building the confidence to live a fulfilling life that is true to who you are. If you're ready to explore the unique aspects of your childfree choice and find support in your journey, I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

Navigating Difficult Conversations with Family: Setting Boundaries & Celebrating Your Childfree Choice

One of the toughest challenges for many childfree-by-choice individuals is navigating the “Bingo Card” conversations with family members. These are the recurring questions and comments—like “When are you having kids?” or “Don’t you want a family of your own?”—that can feel intrusive and hurtful. Learning how to respond with grace, while also protecting your emotional well-being, is key. I encourage you to use the “I feel ____ when you ____” framework to express how these conversations affect you. For example, “I feel hurt when you ask me why I haven’t had kids yet.” This allows you to express your feelings without sounding defensive, making it easier for others to understand your perspective.

At times, it might help to ask your parents or loved ones to clarify what makes this issue so important to them. Understanding their viewpoint can create empathy and open up a dialogue. You can say something like, “I hear that having grandchildren is important to you. Could you share more about why that is for you?” This shows that you’re listening to their feelings while also giving them the opportunity to express their emotions. However, if these conversations persist and make you uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay to set boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I know this is important to you, but I’m not comfortable discussing this right now because it’s a personal choice for me.” Setting these boundaries protects your mental and emotional health while still showing respect for their views.

Celebrating Your Choice & Navigating grief

Choosing to be childfree is a deeply personal decision, and it’s important to celebrate that choice wholeheartedly. Therapy can help you embrace your decision with pride, allowing you to move forward without regret or doubt. However, it’s also natural to experience moments of grief. You may grieve the loss of the life others expect you to have, or feel the weight of disappointing family members. Together, we can work through these emotions, helping you process any feelings of loss while reaffirming your decision. Recognizing and honoring your choice, despite societal expectations, is empowering.

About the Author

Tori Smith is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from trauma and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

Building Your Community

Finding and building a supportive community is crucial on your childfree journey. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and respect your choice can offer the encouragement and connection you need to thrive. Therapy can help you explore ways to seek out like-minded individuals, create deeper relationships, and foster a sense of belonging within your unique path. Together, we can work on developing the confidence to build a community where you feel valued and supported.

Tori Smith 4/15/25 Tori Smith 4/15/25

Therapy for Highly Sensitive People (HSP) in California

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

Has anyone ever told you “you’re too sensitive”, that you need to “let it go” or “toughen up”? Do you feel like you struggle to find ease in situations that others seem comfortable in? Maybe you’ve felt dismissed by the people around you when you’ve cried of had big emotions about something. HSPs often feel like something is wrong with them, because we live in a culture that rewards extraversion, confidence, and stoicism. The huge piece of the picture that we miss is that being a sensitive person gives you serious advantages in understanding who you are and the unique perspectives you have to offer the world.

What does it mean to be highly sensitive?

The term Highly Sensitive Person describes a set of personality traits; it is not a mental health diagnosis. As we continue to understand more about what it means to be a sensitive person, the research shows that it is an innate part of someone’s overall temperament, not something one chooses to feel. Being an HSP looks different for every unique individual, but there are some common patterns that people experience within this personality trait. HSPs are very attuned to their environments, and notice a lot about what is happening around them. For example, they may experience some or all of the following:

Depth of Processing
HSPs tend to process information more deeply and thoroughly than others. They may reflect deeply on experiences, analyze situations from multiple perspectives, and pay close attention to subtleties and details.

Emotional Sensitivity
HSPs are often more emotionally responsive and reactive. They may experience emotions intensely and be highly attuned to the emotions of others. They may also be more empathetic and compassionate. Highly Sensitive People are very aware of changes and energies they sense in the people and places around them. They can be easily affected by others’ moods and body language. People who are highly sensitive often require a quiet environment in order to decompress and unwind after being in a place they find overwhelming. HSPs can startle and blush easily, as their nervous system is more sensitive to changes in their environment.
Overstimulation
Due to their heightened sensitivity, HSIs can easily become overwhelmed by environmental stimuli such as bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, or crowded spaces. They may require more time alone to recharge and recover from overstimulation.
Sensory Sensitivity
HSPs may have heightened sensitivity to physical sensations, such as textures, temperatures, and pain. They may be more aware of subtle changes in their environment and may prefer calm and soothing surroundings. HSPs will often notice sounds, sensations, and smells that the people around them do not notice. They can be more sensitive to pain or other physical sensations and become easily overwhelmed by crowded, busy environments. They can also become distracted by sounds like a ticking clock, or by the feeling of uncomfortable clothing on their skin.
Empathy and Intuition
HSPs often have a strong sense of empathy and can easily pick up on the emotional states of others. They may have an intuitive understanding of people and situations, which can be beneficial in personal relationships and social interactions.
Creativity and Insightfulness
Highly sensitive individuals often possess a rich inner world and can be highly creative. They may have a keen eye for detail, notice patterns, and make connections that others may overlook.

It's important to note that being highly sensitive is not a disorder or a condition but rather a normal variation of human temperament. It can have both advantages and challenges, and understanding and embracing this trait can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life for you as a highly sensitive individual.

Schedule a free 15 minute call

Why Highly Sensitive People Are Prone to Anxiety and Burnout

As an HSP, you process information more deeply and are often more attuned to the emotions and needs of others. You may feel overstimulated in busy environments or feel a heightened sense of responsibility when others are upset. All of this emotional and sensory input can become exhausting, leaving you feeling drained, anxious, or on edge.

You might also have a tendency to internalize stress, ruminate on difficult situations, or struggle with perfectionism, which can lead to burnout. Your nervous system is naturally more reactive, so you may find yourself frequently feeling overwhelmed or in a state of “fight-or-flight,” even in situations that don’t seem immediately threatening to others. Over time, this constant state of alertness can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even physical health issues.

When you’re constantly absorbing other people’s emotions, overstimulated by your environment, or pushed beyond your limits, it can feel like there’s no way to catch your breath. Your body and mind get stuck in a cycle of stress that’s difficult to break out of on your own.

How Somatic Therapy in Los Angeles Can Help

Somatic therapy offers a powerful approach to healing because it addresses the way your body and mind work together. When you're highly sensitive, your emotions are often felt deeply in your body. Anxiety, stress, and burnout manifest physically—whether it's tension in your shoulders, a racing heart, or stomach discomfort. By connecting with your body, somatic therapy allows you to recognize and release the physical manifestations of stress.

Here’s how somatic therapy can be especially beneficial for highly sensitive people like you:

Helps You Regulate Your Nervous System: One of the core principles of somatic therapy is learning to regulate your nervous system. As an HSP, you may be more prone to feeling overstimulated or anxious, but through somatic techniques, you can learn how to bring your body back into balance. I’ll guide you in using breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and body awareness practices that can help you calm your nervous system and restore a sense of safety and control.

Releases Stuck Emotional Energy: Highly sensitive people often internalize emotions, storing them in the body. This can lead to chronic tension or feelings of being “stuck” emotionally. Somatic therapy helps you tune into your physical sensations, which can unlock stored emotions and provide a way to release them safely. Instead of bottling up your feelings or becoming overwhelmed by them, you can gently process and release the emotional energy, bringing greater clarity and relief.

Creates Space for Self-Awareness and Boundaries: When you’re highly sensitive, it can be difficult to set boundaries, especially when you’re so attuned to the emotions of others. You may find yourself taking on too much, overextending yourself, or neglecting your own needs in favor of others. Somatic therapy helps you cultivate greater self-awareness by connecting with how your body feels when you’re in situations that are draining or overstimulating. This helps you identify when you need to set limits and take care of yourself, preventing burnout before it gets too severe.

Restores Emotional Balance: In somatic therapy, we work together to identify the patterns that fuel anxiety or emotional overwhelm. By becoming aware of the physical sensations tied to your emotions, you can start to recognize early warning signs of anxiety or stress before they escalate. You’ll learn how to shift your physical state in real-time—through breath, movement, and body awareness—so that you can regulate your emotions more effectively and return to a grounded state.

Supports Healing and Resilience: Somatic therapy is also about building resilience. You’ll develop tools to stay more present and centered, even in difficult or overstimulating situations. This helps reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions, making you more capable of handling stress without feeling overwhelmed. Over time, you’ll feel more empowered in navigating the challenges of life without succumbing to burnout.

Supports Deep Healing from Past Stress or Trauma: If past stress or trauma is contributing to your anxiety or burnout, somatic therapy is especially beneficial. It works on a deeper level by accessing the body's memory of past experiences. This allows you to process and release trauma stored in the body in a gentle, supportive way. As you release these old patterns, you’ll feel lighter, more present, and more resilient moving forward.

As a highly sensitive person, you may face unique challenges when it comes to managing stress, anxiety, and burnout. But with somatic therapy, you can begin to heal in a way that respects your sensitivity and supports your need for emotional balance. Together, we can explore how your body and mind can work in harmony to help you feel more grounded, energized, and at peace.

If you’re ready to explore how somatic therapy can help you reduce anxiety and avoid burnout, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

If the characteristics of HSPs resonate with you and you have questions about starting therapy, contact me and we’ll get started!

Tori Smith 4/9/25 Tori Smith 4/9/25

Nervous System Regulation 101: How to Rewire Your Brain and Body After Trauma- Online Therapy in California

If you’ve experienced trauma, you know how deeply it can affect every aspect of your life. One of the most profound ways trauma influences us is by dysregulating the nervous system, which can make it difficult to feel calm, grounded, or in control. The good news is, you can rewire your body and restore balance. Nervous system regulation is key to healing from trauma, and it involves learning how to bring your body back into a state of safety and balance.

Let’s explore what nervous system regulation is, how trauma affects the nervous system, and practical steps you can take to regulate your nervous system. If you’re in California and looking for online therapy, I’ll share how working with a therapist can guide you through this important healing process.

What Is Nervous System Regulation?

Nervous system regulation refers to the process of helping your nervous system move from a state of hyper-arousal (fight or flight) or hypo-arousal (collapse) back into a balanced, calm state. The nervous system controls how you respond to stress, danger, and everyday challenges. After experiencing trauma, your nervous system may remain stuck in an activated state, even when the danger has passed. This ongoing stress response can affect your physical health, emotional stability, and overall well-being.

Regulating the nervous system is essential to managing trauma’s effects on your body and mind. The goal is to bring your nervous system back to a state of rest and digest, where you can feel more at ease, connected, and resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

How Trauma Affects the Nervous System

When trauma occurs, whether it’s a single event or prolonged stress, your body enters into a heightened state of alertness. Your nervous system shifts into “survival mode,” activating the sympathetic nervous system, which triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response. This is your body’s natural way of preparing to deal with danger.

For many people, trauma doesn’t just pass. The body often holds onto these stress responses, and the nervous system remains in a heightened or overwhelmed state. This chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system can lead to feelings of anxiety, hypervigilance, difficulty relaxing, and even physical symptoms like chronic pain, insomnia, or digestive issues.

On the other hand, some individuals may enter a collapse response, where the body and mind shut down in response to overwhelming stress. This is known as a state of dissociation or numbing, where emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations may feel distant or disconnected.

Both of these responses—hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal—are signs that your nervous system is out of balance, and they are common effects of trauma. The good news is that nervous system regulation can help you bring your body back into balance, creating a sense of calm, safety, and emotional resilience.

How to Rewire Your Body: Nervous System Regulation Techniques

Here are some practical techniques you can use to regulate your nervous system after trauma. If you’re working with an online therapist in California, these methods can also be explored in therapy sessions to guide your healing.

1. Breathing Techniques

One of the most effective ways to regulate your nervous system is through breathing exercises. Slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the body and mind.

Try this: 4-7-8 breathing – Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly for 8 seconds. Repeat this cycle several times to help bring your body into a state of relaxation.

2. Grounding Exercises

Grounding exercises help you reconnect with the present moment, reducing feelings of dissociation or detachment. They can be especially helpful if you’re in a “freeze” state, helping you feel more present and in control.

Try this: The 5-4-3-2-1 technique—Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This engages your senses and helps bring your nervous system back into balance.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

This technique involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in the body. It can be very effective for releasing physical tension and helping your body reset after trauma.

Try this: Start with your toes and gradually work your way up, tightening each muscle group for 5-10 seconds and then releasing. Focus on the feeling of relaxation as you release the tension.

4. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness practices can help you stay present and calm, reducing anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Meditation also activates the parasympathetic nervous system and reduces stress hormone levels.

Try this: Set aside 10 minutes a day to practice mindfulness. Sit in a quiet space, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts without judgment. You can also use guided meditation apps for additional support.

5. Somatic Practices

Somatic practices, such as yoga or tai chi, focus on connecting movement with breath. These practices can help release stored tension in the body and help you develop awareness of how trauma has affected your physical state.

Try this: Gentle stretching or a few minutes of yoga focusing on deep, mindful breathing can help you regulate your nervous system.

6. Self-Compassion Practices

Healing from trauma involves being kind to yourself. When your nervous system is dysregulated, you may have negative thoughts about yourself, your situation, or your progress. Practicing self-compassion can help create emotional safety for your nervous system to relax.

Try this: When you feel overwhelmed, gently remind yourself that healing takes time. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend in need.

How Online Therapy in California Can Support Nervous System Regulation

If you’re in California and looking for online therapy, you don’t have to navigate nervous system regulation alone. A therapist trained in trauma-informed care can help you understand the impact of trauma on your body and provide personalized techniques for re-regulating your nervous system.

Online therapy offers the flexibility to work at your own pace and in the comfort of your own space. Whether you’re working through anxiety, PTSD, or simply seeking a greater sense of calm, I can guide you through strategies like deep breathing, somatic practices, and mindfulness. With the right support, you can rewire your body and create a sense of safety and balance.

Nervous system regulation is essential for healing from trauma, and it’s something that can be learned and practiced over time. By using techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, you can bring your body back into a balanced state and begin to heal from the effects of trauma.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, online therapy in California can provide the support you need. Together, we can work on rewiring your nervous system, releasing trauma, and building emotional resilience, so you can live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
If you’re ready to regulate your nervous system and heal from trauma, I’m here to help. Contact me today to schedule an online therapy session in California. Let’s work together to help you feel safe, calm, and in control once again.

Tori Smith 4/1/25 Tori Smith 4/1/25

How Somatic Therapy Helps Release Trauma Stored in the Body – Virtual Therapy in California

Have you ever felt like your body is carrying the weight of past experiences, even when your mind seems to have moved on? Many people don’t realize that trauma isn’t just something we carry in our thoughts—it can be stored in the body, influencing our posture, muscle tension, and even our physical health. This is where somatic therapy can be incredibly helpful. If you're in California and seeking online therapy, somatic therapy offers a unique, body-focused approach to healing trauma that can help you release long-held tension and emotional pain.

I’ll explain how somatic therapy works, how it helps release trauma from your body, and how it can benefit you in your healing journey. Whether you're dealing with past trauma or simply want to improve your emotional well-being, somatic therapy may be the key to experiencing a more balanced and peaceful life.

What is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is a body-centered approach, also known as a “top-down” processing approach, to healing that recognizes the powerful connection between your mind and body. In somatic therapy, we believe that the body holds onto emotional experiences, especially trauma, and that physical sensations can provide valuable insights into how past experiences are still affecting you.

Rather than just talking through your feelings or experiences, somatic therapy invites you to become more aware of physical sensations in your body, such as tension, tightness, or discomfort. These sensations often hold clues about unresolved trauma or emotional blocks.

In our online therapy sessions, I guide you through various techniques, such as deep breathing, body awareness exercises, and gentle movement, to help you release trauma that may be stored in your body. It’s an empowering process that helps you reconnect with yourself and experience emotional release in a safe, supportive environment.

How Does Somatic Therapy Release Trauma Stored in the Body?

You might be wondering, how does your body store trauma, and how does somatic therapy help release it? When you experience a traumatic event, your body reacts by activating the fight, flight, or freeze response. If the trauma is unresolved, your nervous system remains in a heightened state, causing tension to build up in the muscles and tissues. This tension can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, chronic pain, digestive issues, and even anxiety or depression.

Somatic therapy helps by bringing awareness to the sensations you feel in your body, allowing you to process and release these physical memories of trauma. Here are a few ways somatic therapy helps release stored trauma:

1. Body Awareness and Mindfulness

Somatic therapy helps you become more attuned to what’s happening in your body. You’ll learn to notice where you feel tension, discomfort, or pain—whether in your shoulders, stomach, chest, or elsewhere. By gently bringing your attention to these areas, we can begin to uncover what your body is holding onto and work through it.

2. Movement and Expression

Sometimes, words aren’t enough to express the depth of trauma. Somatic therapy involves gentle movement exercises that encourage your body to express what it has been holding onto. This movement helps release physical tension and emotional energy, allowing you to experience a sense of relief and emotional release.

3. Breathing Techniques

Breathing is one of the most powerful tools in somatic therapy. Deep, conscious breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm your body and mind. It can also release stored emotions and reduce physical tension, which is essential in the healing process. I’ll guide you through breathing exercises that help you reconnect with your body and release trauma in a safe, controlled way.

4. Tapping into the Unconscious

Your body often holds onto memories and emotions that your mind may not fully process or understand. Somatic therapy can tap into unconscious memories, helping you uncover trauma that may be buried deep within. By engaging both your body and mind in the healing process, somatic therapy allows you to release these stored emotions and move forward.

Benefits of Somatic Therapy for Trauma Release

If you’ve experienced trauma, you may have noticed that traditional talk therapy alone doesn’t always address the physical aspect of your healing. Somatic therapy goes beyond the mental and emotional layers, offering a more holistic approach to trauma recovery. Here are some of the benefits of somatic therapy for releasing trauma stored in the body:

1. Reduction of Physical Tension

By releasing stored trauma, somatic therapy can help reduce physical symptoms such as chronic pain, tension, and headaches. As your body learns to let go of these stressors, you may experience a greater sense of ease and comfort in your body.

2. Emotional Relief

Somatic therapy can provide deep emotional release, helping you process feelings that have been suppressed or stored away. This can lead to a sense of emotional freedom and a greater sense of peace and well-being.

3. Improved Self-Awareness

Somatic therapy encourages you to connect more deeply with your body, increasing your overall awareness of how stress, emotions, and trauma affect your physical and emotional state. This self-awareness can lead to better decision-making, emotional regulation, and personal growth.

4. Healing from Past Trauma

Releasing trauma stored in the body can help you heal from past experiences that continue to affect your daily life. Somatic therapy allows you to process these experiences, reduce their emotional charge, and move forward with greater clarity and strength.

How Somatic Therapy Can Help You in California

If you’re located in California and interested in exploring somatic therapy, online therapy is a flexible and accessible option. Working with a therapist who specializes in somatic healing can provide the support you need to release trauma from your body and regain a sense of balance and calm.

In online therapy sessions, we can explore somatic techniques from the comfort of your home, ensuring that you feel safe and supported throughout the process. Whether you're dealing with trauma, stress, anxiety, or just want to improve your overall emotional health, somatic therapy can be a valuable tool in your healing journey.

If you’re struggling with trauma and feeling the physical effects in your body, somatic therapy can help. By focusing on the mind-body connection, somatic therapy provides a holistic and effective way to release stored trauma, reduce physical tension, and experience emotional healing.

If you're in California and ready to begin your healing journey, consider reaching out for online therapy today. Somatic therapy offers a powerful approach to trauma recovery, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Are you ready to explore somatic therapy and release trauma stored in your body? Contact me today for online therapy in California and take the first step toward healing. Let’s work together to create lasting change and help you live a life of peace and balance.

Tori Smith 3/29/25 Tori Smith 3/29/25

What Are Trauma Responses and How Do They Affect Your Life? - Online Therapy in California

Trauma can affect every part of our lives, from how we feel and interact with others to our emotional well-being and physical health. Understanding trauma responses is crucial for recognizing the impact trauma has on your life. Whether you’ve experienced a single traumatic event or ongoing stress, it’s important to know how your body and mind react to these experiences. If you’re in California and seeking online therapy, learning more about trauma responses can be the first step toward healing.

Let’s explore the different types of trauma responses, how they manifest in your life, and how online therapy in California can help you work through these effects.

What Are Trauma Responses?

Trauma responses are the ways in which our bodies and minds react to experiences of overwhelming stress, danger, or emotional pain. These responses are natural and protective mechanisms that help us cope with the stress of trauma, but they can also lead to lasting effects that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

The four main types of trauma responses are commonly known as the Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn responses. Understanding these can help you recognize the signs of trauma in your own life.

1. Fight Response

The Fight response happens when you perceive a threat and your body gets ready to confront it. This response can manifest in feelings of anger, irritability, or aggression. You may feel the urge to fight back against challenges or people, even when they aren’t dangerous.

How it affects your life:

Increased irritability or frustration
Difficulty letting go of arguments or conflicts
A tendency to overreact to minor stressors

2. Flight Response

The Flight response is when your body prepares to escape or avoid the threat. This can show up as a strong urge to flee from situations that feel overwhelming or unsafe. People with the Flight response may have a history of avoiding their emotions or running from uncomfortable situations.

How it affects your life:

Avoidance of difficult conversations or tasks
A tendency to escape from relationships or responsibilities
Fear of confrontation or discomfort

3. Freeze Response

When faced with a traumatic situation, the Freeze response happens when the body and mind become immobilized, often leading to feelings of numbness or dissociation. This response is common when someone feels they have no control over the situation, and they “shut down” mentally and emotionally.

How it affects your life:

Difficulty making decisions or taking action
Emotional numbness or detachment
Trouble processing or expressing emotions

4. Fawn Response

The Fawn response occurs when someone pleases or submits to others in order to avoid conflict or harm. This response is often a learned behavior from childhood, particularly in environments where survival depended on keeping others happy or safe.

How it affects your life:

Difficulty setting boundaries
People-pleasing behaviors and over-committing
Low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness

5. Collapse Response

The collapse resonse occurs when your nervous systems interprets a situation as life threatening. This is when someone because so overwhelmed or fearful that they become numb or sometimes faint. Muscle tension decreases and heart rate slows.

How it affects you life:

Feeling disconnected and dissociated from your body
Unable to speak
You may feel completely shut down

How Trauma Responses Affect Your Life

Trauma responses don’t just stay in the past, they can continue to impact your present life in profound ways. Here are some of the most common ways trauma responses can affect you:

1. Relationships

Trauma responses can make it difficult to form or maintain healthy relationships. People with unresolved trauma might struggle with trust, emotional intimacy, or even fear of abandonment. This can lead to conflicts in romantic, family, or work relationships.

2. Mental Health

When trauma responses are not addressed, they can contribute to mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), and other mood disorders. The constant cycle of reactivity can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

3. Physical Health

Trauma can affect your body in physical ways. Chronic stress from trauma can lead to muscle tension, digestive issues, headaches, and even cardiovascular problems. Trauma responses also weaken the immune system, making it harder for your body to heal.

4. Behavioral Patterns

Trauma responses can shape your behavior in unhealthy ways, such as addiction, compulsive behavior, or avoidance. These patterns often serve as coping mechanisms for trauma but may ultimately worsen your emotional state and overall quality of life.

How Online Therapy in California Can Help You Heal from Trauma Responses

If you're experiencing trauma responses that affect your everyday life, seeking online therapy in California is a great step toward healing. Online therapy offers the flexibility and privacy to work through your trauma at your own pace, from the comfort of your home. In our work together, I can help you learn to:

Identify Your Trauma Responses: Recognize how trauma is affecting you in the present and how to stop reacting automatically to stress.
Process Unresolved Trauma: Work through past traumatic events in a safe, supportive space.
Develop Coping Strategies: Learn healthy coping techniques to manage your trauma responses and regulate your nervous system.
Build Emotional Resilience: Develop stronger emotional resilience so that trauma no longer dictates your life.

Online therapy also allows you to connect with therapists who specialize in trauma-informed care. Whether you’re looking for EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), or somatic therapy, I offer a variety of approaches tailored to your specific needs.

Understanding trauma responses is an essential step toward healing. Whether you’re experiencing the Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn response, it’s important to recognize these behaviors and their impact on your life. Seeking help through online therapy in California can give you the tools and support you need to process trauma and create lasting change.

About the Author

Tori Smith is a licensed therapist and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more!

If you're ready to take control of your healing journey, consider reaching out to me, I am a therapist who specializes in trauma recovery. Online therapy provides a convenient and effective way to address trauma, heal your nervous system, and regain balance in your life. Don’t let trauma define your future—start your journey to healing today.

If you're in California and struggling with trauma responses, online therapy can help. Contact me today to schedule your free consultation and learn more about how we can help you heal from trauma in a safe, supportive, and private online environment. Take the first step toward healing now.

Tori Smith 3/28/25 Tori Smith 3/28/25

Mindfulness Based Somatic Therapy in California

What is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic psychotherapy is a unique type of therapy that focuses on integrating one’s mind and body to facilitate emotional healing. The word somatic comes from the latin root ‘soma’, meaning body. This type of therapy focuses on learning about your emotional responses by bringing mindful awareness to sensations you feel in your body. For example, we often know we are feeling anxious because of the signals we are receiving from our bodies. Our heart rate may start to increase or palms may begin to sweat. These are very real physical sensations that are connected to an emotional experience. By bringing neutral, compassionate awareness to physical sensations and symptoms we can begin to reconstruct our relationship with the uncomfortable sensations.

This type of therapy is rooted in the theory that past experiences of trauma or intense distress disrupt the functioning of the autonomic nervous system- the system that controls our threat responses (fight, flight, freeze, collapse). This type of disruption can have long term effects on our bodies and can manifest through panic attacks, physical pain, digestive issues, sexual dysfunction, and hormonal imbalances.

In a moment of anxiety, we are responding to a perceived threat, and we often mistakenly label the feeling of anxiety as a threat in and of it self. But anxiety is not a threat, it is simply a signal. When we experience a traumatic or highly stressful event, our nervous systems can become “stuck” in a fight, flight, freeze, or collapse state, which can cause intense distress and lower ability to function day to day. Somatic therapy allows us to rebuild a sense of safety in our bodies, and helps to guide us in understanding that our bodies reactions and signals (although difficult at times) are adaptive and have played a role in trying to keep us safe. These symptoms do not need to be permanent. With somatic therapy, you can learn to trust your body and your mind.

Schedule a free 15 minute call

How Somatic Psychotherapy in California Can Benefit Highly Sensitive People

As a highly sensitive person, you experience the world more intensely. Your emotions are deep, your senses are finely tuned, and you can often feel overwhelmed by the energy and needs of others. It's a gift, but it can also feel like a heavy burden, leaving you drained or stuck in patterns of overthinking, anxiety, or emotional reactivity.

Somatic psychotherapy can be incredibly helpful for you. It is a body-focused approach that integrates the mind, body, and emotions. Instead of only talking through your thoughts and feelings, this method encourages you to connect with your body’s sensations and experiences. Here’s how it works for you:

Release Emotional Overload: As someone who feels things deeply, you may find that your emotions can sometimes become overwhelming or hard to manage. Somatic therapy helps you tune into your body, where these emotions often get “stuck.” By learning to recognize physical sensations—like tightness, heat, or tension—you can begin to release the emotional charge attached to them. This makes it easier for you to process and release overwhelming feelings, rather than getting caught in a cycle of stress or anxiety.

Build Resilience to Sensory Overload: Highly sensitive people often experience sensory overload—whether it’s loud noises, busy environments, or too much stimulation from other people’s emotions. Somatic psychotherapy teaches you grounding techniques that help you reconnect with your body and find a sense of calm. Through breathing exercises, body awareness, and mindfulness, you can better navigate overwhelming situations and restore your energy more quickly.

Reconnect with Your Body's Wisdom: You may not always be aware of how much your body is trying to tell you. Somatic psychotherapy helps you develop a deeper connection to your physical sensations. This can help you understand when you’re pushing yourself too hard, when you need rest, or when you’re out of alignment with your true needs. By tuning into these cues, you can make more empowered decisions about how to care for yourself.

Heal Past Traumas: Many highly sensitive people have experienced emotional or physical trauma, often without fully recognizing its impact. Somatic therapy can support you in healing these old wounds by addressing the body’s stored memories and helping you release trauma’s hold on your physical and emotional health. This process can lead to a profound sense of relief and freedom, allowing you to move through life with greater ease and peace.

Create More Emotional Balance: By integrating your body’s sensations with your emotions, somatic psychotherapy helps you cultivate a sense of balance. Instead of getting swept away by your feelings, you’ll gain tools to pause, check in with yourself, and respond in a grounded way. Over time, this creates more emotional stability, helping you feel more centered, calm, and in control of your reactions.

Tori Smith, LCSW

Tori Smith is a licensed therapist and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice in California focused on helping undergrad/ graduate students and young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout to quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, **schedule a free consultation** call to learn more.

Foster Self-Compassion and Boundaries: As a highly sensitive person, you may have a tendency to be hard on yourself or take on too much. Somatic psychotherapy encourages a nurturing relationship with your body, promoting self-compassion and respect. It also helps you strengthen your sense of boundaries—teaching you how to say "no" when needed and preserve your energy in a way that supports your well-being.

By incorporating somatic techniques into your therapy, you can begin to feel more in tune with yourself, reduce emotional overwhelm, and build a deeper sense of peace. It’s a gentle, effective way for you to honor your sensitivity, nurture your resilience, and embrace your emotional depth without being consumed by it.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore how somatic psychotherapy can support your journey toward healing and balance.

Please reach out if you have any questions about somatic therapy and to find out if somatic therapy is right for you!

Tori Smith 3/28/25 Tori Smith 3/28/25

Therapy For Anxiety and Burnout in California

What are Anxiety and Burnout?

Anxiety can show up in so many different forms, often making it feel like it’s impossible to escape or even understand. You might notice your heart racing in situations where you feel uncertain, or your mind constantly looping on worries about the future or ruminating on past mistakes. It might show up in your body, too—like stomach aches, tightness in your chest, or trouble sleeping. Sometimes, anxiety feels like this invisible weight, pulling you down into a state of fear or impending doom that’s hard to shake.

When it comes to work stress, we can see how the pressure and demands of day-to-day life can intensify these feelings. The constant pushing to meet deadlines, perform at your best, or manage relationships at work can all chip away at your sense of well-being, leading to heightened anxiety. Over time, if the stress doesn’t have an outlet or the right support, it can feel like the anxiety just builds and builds, creating an overwhelming cycle that’s hard to break free from.

Sometimes, anxiety isn’t triggered by just one thing—it’s the culmination of many smaller events or experiences that build up over time. If you've been dealing with difficult or traumatic experiences, your body may have learned to stay in a heightened “fight or flight” state as a way to survive. This constant state of alertness—while useful in moments of real danger—can become exhausting when it’s ongoing. It’s your body’s way of trying to keep you safe, even if there’s no immediate threat. And if past traumas have left your nervous system in a heightened state, you may find yourself reacting to situations as if you’re still in danger, even when the environment doesn’t pose that kind of risk.

Now, this brings us to the concept of burnout, which can often go hand in hand with chronic anxiety. Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, usually related to work or caregiving. It doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a slow accumulation of pressure that eventually leaves you feeling drained, detached, and sometimes even cynical. The emotional and physical exhaustion you feel in burnout can be accompanied by anxiety, as you’re constantly trying to keep up and fearing that you’re not doing enough, or not doing it right. You might feel overwhelmed by the demands on your time and energy, leading to a sense of helplessness or hopelessness.

In treatment, addressing both anxiety and burnout involves looking at the bigger picture of what’s happening in your life, especially when it comes to the stressors you’re facing day-to-day. Through therapy, we can work to identify the sources of stress and anxiety, whether they’re external pressures, unmet needs, or unprocessed emotions. Together, we’ll uncover where you might be out of balance—perhaps giving too much of yourself without replenishing—and find ways to introduce restorative practices into your life.

You don’t have to continue living under the weight of anxiety and burnout. With mindfulness, self-compassion, and therapeutic tools, you can start to shift away from those cycles of self-criticism and fear. We’ll work to create new patterns that allow you to respond to stress in a healthier way, and help you reconnect with a deeper sense of motivation and purpose—one that comes from love, not fear. This process takes time and patience, but I’m here to walk with you every step of the way, so that you can move toward a place of peace, resilience, and rest.

Get the help you need now.

Why do I feel anxious and burned out?

Anxiety is a signal from our bodies that we are sensing some type of threat, whether physical or emotional. We have highly adapted survival instincts and responses, and anxiety is one of them. It is a gift that we can receive such strong protective signals from our bodies. Sometimes, though, our sensitivity to those signals becomes very acute, and we feel completely overwhelmed at even a hint of anxiety. We often begin to feel burned out because we are operating from a constant state of worry and do not feel like we are ever allowed to rest. My work emphasizes the importance of rest, and I will help you begin to set and hold strong boundaries around taking breaks and resting.

Therapy is resource where you will learn how to ground yourself into a sense of safety within your body, even when experiencing stress and anxiety. I will help you restructure your relationship with feelings of anxiety, so that you feel safe and in control of your response to these feelings. Together, you and I will work to help you trust yourself to use your tools when anxiety and burnout arise.

Will I lose motivation if I don’t feel stressed?

Often times, people who are highly motivated and high achieving believe their anxiety is at least partially responsible for their achievements. They feel that the nagging, judgmental voice in the back of their mind that tells them they aren’t good enough is one of the strongest motivators they have. On the flip side, these judgmental thoughts are extremely emotionally draining, and over time solidify the belief that we are only “good enough” when we are highly productive and have something to show for ourselves. The over-identification with how we perform at work can be recipe for burnout.

It is a common worry that learning to manage anxiety will strip people of their motivation, but that is not the case. Self compassion and care is a much stronger, more sustainable foundation from which motivation and self worth can grow and thrive. You will still have the capacity to reach your goals without the nagging fear of not being good enough.

Stress is a part of life, just like any other emotional experience, but burnout does not have to be. The goal is not to completely remove stress from your life, but to create healthy, sustainable habits that allow you to move through feelings of stress and anxiety in a way that is not fear based or forced. Working through your anxiety and burnout can also allow you to create deeper, more meaningful relationships with the people in your life, as you will no longer feel like you have to hide yourself and your needs from others.

How therapy in California can help you overcome anxiety and burnout

If you're feeling anxious and burned out, you're not alone. Life can sometimes demand more from us than we have the energy to give. You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or trapped in a constant cycle of worry and stress. Your mind races, your body feels drained, and you might struggle to find a way out of the situations you find yourself in. This is where therapy can be a powerful resource.

Therapy isn’t just about talking through your problems—it’s about finding real, practical ways to reconnect with yourself and regain your sense of balance. Anxiety and burnout often don’t just appear out of nowhere. There are usually underlying causes—stress at work, personal challenges, unrealistic expectations, or unprocessed emotions—that keep you stuck in a cycle of overwhelm. In therapy, I help you uncover these root causes so we can start to address them directly. Once you understand what’s contributing to your stress, we can work together to shift those patterns and create healthier ways to cope.

When you're anxious, your mind can feel like it's in overdrive. It’s hard to switch off, and you may find yourself constantly worrying about the future, replaying past events, or catastrophizing. Through therapeutic techniques, we can work on quieting that mental chatter. You’ll learn mindfulness practices, cognitive tools, and grounding techniques to help you bring your focus back to the present moment, where you can begin to breathe and relax.

Burnout doesn’t just affect your work or productivity—it affects your entire well-being. When you’re burned out, you feel drained, disconnected, and like you’re running on empty. Therapy helps you recognize the signs of burnout early so you can take proactive steps to protect your energy. We’ll explore ways to set healthier boundaries, balance your commitments, and prioritize self-care, so you can restore your energy without feeling guilty for taking time for yourself.

When you’re anxious or burned out, it's easy to be hard on yourself. You might feel like you’re not doing enough or that you're not measuring up. Therapy helps you cultivate self-compassion, which is essential for healing. I’ll guide you in developing a kind, non-judgmental relationship with yourself. This means learning to accept your imperfections, forgive yourself for mistakes, and treat yourself with the same empathy you would offer to a close friend.

Life will always have its challenges, but therapy can help you build the resilience needed to handle stress in a more balanced way. Through personalized coping strategies and stress-reduction tools, you’ll develop stronger emotional flexibility. This means you’ll be better equipped to face life’s ups and downs without feeling as overwhelmed or depleted.

Therapy isn’t just about surviving the present—it’s about thriving long-term. Together, we’ll explore how to create lasting changes in your daily routines, work habits, and relationships. We’ll focus on small, sustainable steps that lead to big improvements in how you feel. These changes will help you feel more grounded, more energized, and more in control of your life, even when things get tough.

About Tori Smith, LCSW

Tori Smith is a licensed clinical therapist and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice in California focused on helping undergrad/ graduate students and young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout to quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, **schedule a free consultation** call to learn more.

When anxiety and burnout take hold, it’s easy to lose touch with the things that once brought you joy. Therapy offers a space for rediscovery. Together, we’ll explore what brings you fulfillment, creativity, and peace. Reconnecting with these passions is an important step in healing, as it gives you something to look forward to, to nurture, and to remind you of your worth outside of your work or obligations.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or burned out, therapy can offer you the space to pause, reflect, and find a path toward healing. I’d be honored to walk with you through this process—helping you regain your peace, restore your energy, and reclaim the life you deserve.

Begin therapy for anxiety in California today!

Tori Smith 3/18/25 Tori Smith 3/18/25

Am I Too Self-Aware for Talk Therapy? How Bottom-Up Processing Can Help

Why Feeling Too Self-Aware Can Hold You Back in Therapy (And How Therapy Can Actually Help)

Hey there! If you're reading this, chances are you're someone who has tried therapy before, but felt like you were talking in circles and left sessions feeling like you didn’t get anywhere. Perhaps you’ve found yourself thinking, "I’m just too self-aware for this". I hear you, and I want to let you know you're not alone in feeling that way. A lot of people get tripped up by their own awareness of their mental health and start to feel like therapy can’t help them.

Let me take a moment to break this down and explain why that’s totally understandable, but also why it’s not something that should keep you from moving forward.

Why We Feel Too Self-Aware

If you’re someone who tends to analyze your feelings, overthink your thoughts, and process everything through an intellectual lens, this is likely where you get stuck with traditional talk therapy. Many of us who are highly self-aware and intellectual can get so caught up in our heads that we forget to tune into our emotions. It’s almost like we know about our feelings but don’t always know how to feel them. Does that sound familiar?

Maybe you think you’ve already thought through everything so much that there's nothing new for you to discover. You might even fear that sharing your thoughts will make you more aware of things you'd rather not confront.

This heightened self-awareness can actually work against you in therapy, because instead of feeling relaxed and open, you might feel like you already know everything there is to know, and there is nothing new to discover about yourself. You might find yourself doubting the therapeutic work and feeling like it’s a waste of time. While it’s possible to be working with someone who isn’t the right fit for you, it’s also possible that believing you’re too self aware for therapy is actually a protective mechanism that keep you safe from feeling the depths of your emotions.

This is where bottom-up processing comes in.

What is Bottom-Up Processing?

When we talk about "bottom-up” or “somatic” processingwe're referring to a way of understanding and processing our experiences that starts with our body and physical sensations, and works its way up to our thoughts and feelings. This is in contrast to "top-down processing," which is how many intellectuals (like you!) tend to operate. In top-down processing, we start with the big-picture ideas or thoughts and try to make sense of the smaller details. For example, you might think through a problem logically before allowing yourself to feel the emotions it triggers.

Bottom-up processing flips that on its head. Instead of using your mind to figure out your emotions, it encourages you to feel your way into understanding them by paying attention to your body and physical sensations. This helps bridge the gap between thinking and feeling, which is especially valuable when you’re someone who tends to live more in your head.

Why Bottom-Up Somatic Processing Works for Highly Intellectual, SELF-AWARE People

If you're someone who naturally spends a lot of time in your head—analyzing, thinking, and trying to make sense of everything—it can be tough to simply feel your emotions. You’re used to understanding things cognitively, which means you may intellectualize your feelings to the point where you miss the depth of the emotions themselves.

Bottom-up processing, however, brings you back to your body, which is where emotions are first experienced. Think about it: before you even realize you’re feeling anxious, you might notice a tightness in your chest. Or before you recognize that you’re sad, you might feel a lump in your throat. By learning to tune into these physical cues, you can begin to identify the emotions you're experiencing in a much more direct and visceral way.

This approach is not about pushing away your intellectual side—far from it! It's about using your body's sensations to guide you into a deeper understanding of what you're truly feeling, rather than just analyzing it from a distance.

How Bottom-Up Processing Helps You Get More Familiar with Your Emotions

You Can Reconnect with Your Body’s Wisdom Our bodies are incredibly smart. They pick up on things that our brains may miss, which is why bottom-up processing is so powerful. By focusing on your physical sensations—such as a racing heart, butterflies in your stomach, or the feeling of warmth spreading across your chest—you’re connecting with your body’s way of communicating emotion. It’s like listening to a language that’s always been there but you’ve never fully understood. Once you start paying attention to these cues, you can learn to decode the emotional messages they hold.
It Helps You Feel Without Overthinking One of the biggest struggles for intellectuals or highly self-aware people is that our thoughts can get in the way of simply feeling. We tend to analyze everything, and that includes our emotions. When we experience something, we often end up questioning it, dissecting it, or even trying to explain it away. Bottom-up processing takes you out of that loop. By focusing on your body first—before you try to make sense of it—you’re allowing yourself to experience the emotion without needing to rationalize it right away.
It Creates Space for Emotions to Be Felt Fully One of the most profound aspects of bottom-up processing is that it creates space for emotions to flow freely. When we try to intellectualize our feelings, we often inadvertently suppress or stifle them, thinking we need to "figure it out" before we can process it. But emotions aren’t always meant to be figured out; they need to be felt. By grounding yourself in your body and acknowledging physical sensations, you give your emotions room to be fully experienced and expressed without overanalyzing them.
It Bridges the Gap Between Thinking and Feeling For people who are more intellectual, it can sometimes feel like there’s a wall between your thoughts and your emotions. The intellect wants to analyze and compartmentalize everything, while emotions are messy and unpredictable. Bottom-up processing helps bridge that divide. When you tune into your body’s physical reactions, you're slowly breaking down the wall between thought and feeling, allowing both to coexist in a more balanced and integrated way.
It Reduces Emotional Numbness If you’ve spent too much time living in your head, you might find that you feel disconnected from your emotions or even numb at times. This is common for intellectuals who are often so focused on analysis and logic that they lose touch with their emotional experiences. Bottom-up processing can help you reconnect with those emotions by teaching you how to notice the subtle physical signals that indicate something deeper is happening emotionally. Over time, this practice can help you feel more attuned to your emotional life, reducing numbness and enhancing emotional awareness.

Starting with Bottom-Up somatic Processing in Therapy

In therapy, I’ll guide you through exercises and techniques that help you tune into your physical sensations and emotional experiences. This might include breathing exercises, body scans, or mindfulness practices—anything that helps you connect with what’s happening in your body right here, right now.

Victoria Smith, LCSW

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice in California focused on helping undergrad/ graduate students and young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout to quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, **schedule a free consultation** call to learn more.

You don’t have to give up your intellectual side to benefit from bottom-up processing. In fact, your intellectual nature can be a strength in helping you understand and integrate your emotions more deeply. What bottom-up processing offers is a way to feel those emotions, not just think about them.

If you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your emotions but haven’t really felt them, bottom-up processing might be just what you need to create that shift. It can help you connect with the full spectrum of your emotional experience in a way that makes sense to both your body and your mind.

Ready to start feeling more connected to your emotions? Therapy in California can help you use bottom-up processing to understand your feelings in a whole new way. You’ve got the intellect, now let’s pair it with the power of your body’s wisdom.

Tori Smith 2/4/25 Tori Smith 2/4/25

Healing After the Los Angeles Fires: How to Cope With Anxiety, Grief, and Loss.

Experiencing a devastating natural disaster can trigger a wide variety of intense emotions, including shock, terror, disbelief, and helplessness. The fires in the Pacific Palisades, Pasadena, and Alta Dena have not only impacted the mental health of residents whose neighborhoods were in the path of the fire, but the mental health of residents across the entire city who witnessed the devastation from afar but could not take action to help.

We have yet to see what the exact mental health impact will be on residents throughout the city, as many people are still in a state of shock after experiencing a life or death situation, and others are in shock due to witnessing this immense tragedy. This shock will last weeks or even months. We are seeing groups of people organizing and gathering to help provide resources, housing, and support which will play a key role in the healing of the city. The helplessness many people felt and continue to feel is now turning into action, and action is incredibly empowering and can be the antidote to despair.

There is a collective sense of sadness and grief permeating Los Angeles. People heal in community, so it is very important to talk about the way you’re feeling with the people around you, and to spend time with people who you feel safe with and supported by.

People may show signs of post traumatic stress disorder including intrusive memories like nightmares, unwanted memories, and flashbacks. These distressing thoughts may lead to avoidance of people, places, or things that remind them of the event, and will likely be experiencing what is known as “emotional numbing”. Disconnection and dissociation from one’s emotions is a coping strategy and survival instinct that allows a person to compartmentalize traumatic experiences in order to function.
If you have a friend or a loved one who was impacted by the fires, you may notice negative changes in their mood and cognition.

After trauma, many survivors feel self-blame, shame, and guilt, and they may no longer see the world as a safe place. Other symptoms of depression may begin to manifest, including social withdrawal, isolation, and loss of interest in activities that once mattered to them. They may also experience memory problems which can also be a dissociative response to trauma. On the other hand they may become hypervigilant- this could look like irritability, difficulty sleeping, seeming “jumpy”, and trouble concentrating.

Survivors of the fire may begin to experience physical symptoms as well. This might include headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, and fatigue. The toll of living in a hypervigilant state often manifests psychologically and physically.

Processing these experiences and emotions will take time. Although many people feel the desire to find normalcy as quickly as possible, we need to recognize that the normal we knew before is not the same normal we will build moving forward. The emotional aftermath of a natural disaster is not linear. Be patient and gentle with yourself and your loved ones as they move through the grief and disbelief. Some days will be more difficult than others, but there are also brighter days ahead.

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice in California focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more!

The one tip I would most recommend if you are struggling right now is to lean on your support system, and reach out for extra support when you need it. People are not meant to process these types of events alone. We need each other and we will be the most important part of one another’s healing
Therapy is another resource to lean on when you need extra support. Please know that there are therapists all across LA who have come together for our amazing community. We are here to support you!

Resources:

https://www.cdss.ca.gov/disaster-help-center

https://lafla.org/fire-referral-list/

https://www.ca.gov/LAFires/

https://www.lahsa.org/newsArticle/resources-to-support-those-during-the-la-fires

https://www.iaem.org/Resources/Los-Angeles-Fire-Resources

https://disability.lacity.gov/emergency-resources

Tori Smith 1/27/25 Tori Smith 1/27/25

Climate Anxiety: How Therapy Can Help You Cope With Environmental Stress

In recent years, more and more people are experiencing climate anxiety—a deep sense of worry, fear, or sadness about the state of the environment and the future of the planet. If you’re struggling with feelings of eco-stress, you're not alone. As global concerns about climate change grow, more individuals are turning to therapy for climate anxiety to learn how to cope with these overwhelming emotions.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by environmental grief, anxious about future climate disasters, or simply unsure of how to process your thoughts about the planet’s future, therapy for eco-stress can offer you the support and tools you need. In this post, I’ll explain what climate anxiety is, how it impacts mental health, and how therapy can help you manage eco-anxiety and find peace in an uncertain world.

What is Climate Anxiety and Eco-Stress?

Climate anxiety refers to the fear, sadness, or worry individuals experience in response to climate change and its potential consequences. These feelings can stem from fear of environmental destruction- concerns about extreme weather, rising sea levels, and the potential loss of ecosystems, guilt or helplessness- worry about personal actions contributing to environmental degradation, or feeling like there’s nothing you can do to make a difference. It can also create a profound sense of mourning for the loss of nature, wildlife, and the health of the planet as well as physical symptoms of anxiety including insomnia, fatigue, headaches, or chest tightness triggered by the stress of climate change.

If you're experiencing any of these feelings, it’s important to acknowledge that eco-anxiety is a natural and valid response to the current climate crisis. However, when left unchecked, these emotions can lead to chronic stress, depression, and burnout. This is where therapy can be a valuable resource.

I work with clients who are struggling to manage their climate anxiety and eco-stress, and have seen this issue become more prevalent recently. Therapy provides a supportive environment where you can explore your feelings, process your emotions, and develop healthy coping strategies. Here’s how therapy can help you cope with eco-anxiety:

The first step in therapy is understanding the emotions connected to your anxiety. In our sessions, we’ll explore your fears and worries surrounding climate change. Whether it’s the future of the planet or the emotional impact of environmental destruction, I’ll help you process these feelings so that you can make sense of them.

Recognizing that your anxiety is a natural reaction to the overwhelming global crisis can be the first step in reducing its intensity. Understanding the root of your emotions can also empower you to take control over them, rather than feeling controlled by them.Coping with climate anxiety requires tools that help you manage your emotional response to environmental stressors. I’ll teach you evidence-based coping strategies that can reduce feelings of helplessness and anxiety. Some of the techniques we might use include mindfulness, breathing exercises, grounding exercises, and creating a plan of action based steps you can take in your life.

Many people I work with experience guilt and helplessness when it comes to their environmental footprint. You might feel that no matter what you do, it won’t make a meaningful difference, or you may feel burdened by the environmental crisis without knowing how to act. Therapy can help you reframe these feelings by shifting your focus toward empowerment and action.

Together, we’ll explore small, meaningful changes you can make to align your actions with your values, such as reducing your personal carbon footprint, supporting sustainable businesses, and advocating for climate-friendly policies.

These actions, no matter how small, can give you a sense of agency and purpose, reducing feelings of helplessness.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges, and therapy is a great place to build it. In therapy, we’ll work together to enhance your emotional flexibility, helping you to stay resilient in the face of eco-anxiety. This involves learning how to treat yourself with kindness, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world, shifting your focus to moments of joy and beauty in nature, no matter how small they may seem, and building a sense of community with others who share your environmental concerns. This can create a sense of solidarity and reduce feelings of isolation.

Developing these tools will help you build emotional resilience and regulate your emotions when the weight of climate stress feels too heavy.

Therapy isn’t just about coping with climate anxiety—it’s also about finding meaningful ways to take action. Taking positive steps towards environmental sustainability can alleviate feelings of helplessness and guilt. Together, we can explore ways to advocate for change, such as participating in environmental movements, volunteering for green initiatives, and educating yourself and others about sustainability practices.

By channeling your anxiety into purposeful action, you’ll feel a greater sense of control and hope for the future.

Seeking Support for Climate Anxiety

If you’re struggling with climate anxiety or eco-stress, therapy can offer the support you need. I offer a space where you can explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work through your emotions related to climate change. Whether in person or online, therapy can help you manage the stress of living in an uncertain world.

**About the Author**
I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more!

The reality of climate change is daunting, and it’s completely normal to feel anxious, sad, or overwhelmed by it. However, you don’t have to navigate this anxiety alone. Therapy offers a space to process eco-stress, build resilience, and take meaningful action. Together, we can explore your feelings about the climate crisis, identify ways to manage your anxiety, and help you develop a sense of hope and empowerment.

If you're ready to take the first step towards understanding and working through environmental anxiety, I’m here to help you move through it and find peace. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone—let’s work through this together.

Tori Smith 6/12/23 Tori Smith 6/12/23

Hesitant About Starting Therapy? Here are 7 Tips to Help Jumpstart the Process.

I’ve found in my work that people tend to be hesitant to receive mental health treatment for a few reasons. Stigma, fear of the unknown, and internalized feelings of being "broken" are among the top reasons. Our culture has stigmatized mental health care for centuries, and we are just now beginning to unravel the fraught history of our societal treatment of people with mental health challenges. The way a person's family of origin spoke about (or did not speak about) mental health also plays an important role in how a person will view themselves if they reach out for therapy. People often worry about the people in their life seeing them differently if they begin therapy.

When clients start the therapy process, they can feel nervous, and they can feel worried that something is wrong with them because they may have been feeling so unlike themselves recently. They might feel worried that nothing or no one will be able to help them. People come to therapy looking for relief and understanding, so I will often validate my clients by reminding them they are taking a very important step forward in prioritizing their mental health and that they are taking care of themselves just by showing up to a first session. It shows that they are motivated and ready for change, even though they may be nervous about starting treatment.

My priority as a therapist is to create a sense of safety and support in the therapy room and in the relationships I have with my clients. Every client has specific and unique needs, so I make sure to work at a pace that is appropriate for each individual client. Some people feel ready to share difficult experiences during the first session, others need weeks or months. There is no timeline for therapy, and allowing a person to trust themselves and their own readiness is crucial to therapeutic progress. I aim to build safety with clients by using a curious, non-judgmental approach, and I normalize their experience if they are feeling hesitant or nervous about starting therapy, and as a matter of face, the therapeutic work often starts with addressing a client's beliefs about mental health treatment and how those beliefs impact the way they see themselves.

If you're feeling hesitant about starting therapy, you're not alone. Many people feel nervous or unsure about seeking professional help for their mental health, but it's important to remember that therapy is a valuable tool for improving your overall well-being.

Here are some tips to help you overcome your hesitations and take the first step towards therapy:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

It's okay to feel hesitant or nervous about starting therapy. Recognize that it's a normal response to seeking help for your mental health, and that it's okay to feel vulnerable. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and work through them in order to move forward.

2. Identify the source of your hesitation

Try to pinpoint exactly what is making you feel hesitant about starting therapy. Are you worried about the stigma surrounding mental health? Are you unsure about what to expect in therapy? Identifying the source of your hesitation can help you address it and move past it.

3. Research different therapy options

There are many different types of therapy available, from cognitive behavioral therapy to mindfulness-based therapy. Researching different therapy options can help you find one that resonates with you and feels like a good fit. Consider reaching out to a therapist to ask questions about their approach to therapy and how it might work for you.

4. Find a therapist you feel comfortable with

Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with is key to a successful therapy experience. Look for a therapist who specializes in the issues you're dealing with and who has a personality and communication style that makes you feel at ease. Many therapists offer free initial consultations, which can be a good opportunity to see if you feel comfortable working with them. Ask these therapists as many questions as you want! There is no such thing as a silly question when it comes to therapy so be sure to get clarity on anything you feel unsure about.

5. Start small

If you're feeling hesitant about committing to regular therapy sessions, start small. Consider scheduling a single session or a short-term therapy program to see how it feels. This can help you get a sense of whether therapy is something that could be beneficial for you in the long-term.

6. Remember that therapy is confidential

Confidentiality is an important aspect of therapy. It's important to remember that what you discuss in therapy is kept private and confidential. This can help alleviate some of the worries or fears you may have about seeking help.

7. Be patient with yourself

Remember that therapy is a process, and it may take some time to see progress. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. It's important to give yourself time to work through the issues you're dealing with and to allow yourself to experience the benefits of therapy.

It’s completely normal to feel nervous or uneasy about starting something you’ve never tried before, especially therapy. The best thing you can do is get all of your questions answered so that you can make a decision to see a therapist that you feel happy and comfortable with. Please feel free to give me a call or reach out through my contact page to talk through any questions you have about starting therapy with me!

Therapist for anxiety los angeles hermosa beach stress coping

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more!

Tori Smith 6/1/23 Tori Smith 6/1/23

Navigating the World as a Highly Sensitive Person: Common Experiences, Challenges, and Strengths

Highly sensitive individuals possess heightened sensitivity to stimuli, emotions, and the environment around them. Are you someone who feels deeply and notices the subtleties of the world around you? If so, you may be a highly sensitive person (HSP).

As a highly sensitive person, you may find that your emotions run deep and vibrant. You may have a heightened awareness of your surroundings, noticing even the slightest changes in your environment. Your empathetic nature enables you to feel the emotions of others deeply, fostering a strong sense of connection. You may also have a keen eye for detail, appreciating the beauty in the small things that others may overlook.

Embracing your sensitivity can be accompanied by certain challenges. You may feel easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces. It's essential for you to find moments of solitude and recharge, as the stimulation of the outside world can drain your energy. Additionally, setting boundaries and saying no can be difficult for you, as your compassionate nature often compels you to prioritize the needs of others. This can lead to feelings of burnout and neglecting your own well-being.

You may also face misconceptions and misunderstandings from those who don't understand the depth of your sensitivity. It's common to feel different or out of place, especially in a society that often values toughness and resilience over emotional authenticity.

Your sensitivity is a gift that brings with it remarkable strengths. Your deep empathy allows you to understand and connect with others on a profound level. People naturally gravitate towards your compassionate and supportive nature, finding solace in your ability to listen and provide comfort. Your keen observation skills and attention to detail make you a problem-solver, as you notice the nuances that others may miss. On the other hand, though, you might find yourself becoming burnt out by the emotional toll it takes on you to be the supportive one in many of your relationships.

Highly sensitive people often possess a rich inner world and a natural inclination towards creativity. You may excel in artistic endeavors, using your sensitivity as a wellspring of inspiration and self-expression. Your intuitive nature and emotional intelligence enable you to navigate complex social dynamics with grace and understanding, building meaningful relationships based on empathy and authenticity.

Embracing your sensitivity as a highly sensitive person is a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. By understanding the common experiences, challenges, and strengths that come with being an HSP, you can navigate the world with authenticity and compassion. Celebrate your sensitivity, for it is a unique and powerful trait that allows you to make a profound difference in your own life and the lives of others.

Hermosa Beach Therapist Anxiety Holistic Therapy

About Victoria Smith, LCSW

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping HSPs use their sensitivities to make an impact on their lives and in their communities. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more!

Tori Smith 1/20/23 Tori Smith 1/20/23

The Mental Health Impacts of Entrepreneurship

Starting and running a business can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience, but it can also take a toll on one's mental health. Entrepreneurship is a challenging and stressful endeavor that can lead to a host of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and burnout. Here we will explore the various mental health impacts of owning a business and provide tips and strategies for maintaining good mental health as an entrepreneur.

One of the biggest stressors you may experience as an entrepreneur is the constant pressure to keep your business afloat. The financial and operational risks of running a business can lead to feelings of uncertainty and insecurity, which can cause anxiety and depression. Additionally, the pressure to constantly innovate, create, and grow the business can be overwhelming and can lead to feelings of burnout. This is where having a solid business plan and a clear strategy can help you manage the stress of running a business.

Another stressor for entrepreneurs is the feeling of isolation. Starting and running a business often means working alone, and this can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. You may also find it difficult to disconnect from you business, leading to a lack of work-life balance and further exacerbating stress and mental health issues. Joining a community of like-minded entrepreneurs can provide a sense of connection and support, and can help you feel less isolated. This community can also provide a source of inspiration, motivation, and advice.

Entrepreneurs also face unique challenges related to their personal and professional identities. The success or failure of your business can have a direct impact on their self-esteem, self-worth, and sense of identity. This can lead to a host of emotional and mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. It is important for you to set realistic and achievable goals, and not to define your worth solely by the success of their business.

Another effective strategy for maintaining good mental health is by practicing self-care. It is crucial to make time for activities that are solely for pleasure, such as exercise, hobbies, and spending time with friends and family. It is important to establish healthy boundaries between your work and personal life, and take regular breaks to prevent burnout. Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for entrepreneurs, and intentionally incorporating self-care into your routine allows you to build this positive habit.

Entrepreneurs should also consider seeking professional help if they are struggling with their mental health. A therapist or counselor can provide support, guidance, and strategies for managing stress and maintaining your mental health. Therapy can help you identify and process the underlying emotions and thoughts that are contributing to you mental health challenges.

The mental health impacts of owning a business can be significant, but there are strategies that you can use to mitigate these impacts. Building a support system, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help are essential for maintaining good mental health as an entrepreneur. By taking steps to prioritize your mental health, you can increase your chances of success in business and in life.

If you’d like to talk more about how therapy can help you succeed as an entrepreneur, please set up a call with me here.

I am licensed in the state of California and can hold sessions virtually and in person.

Disclaimer

This blog is for educational purposes only. The information contained in this blog article is not intended to be a replacement for mental health care. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 1-800-273-TALK or text HOME to 741741 for free 24/7 support in the U.S.

Tori Smith 4/21/22 Tori Smith 4/21/22

What is the Link Between Depression and Shopping?

When we are feeling depressed, we experience a lack of motivation, low self worth, and feelings of hopelessness. Depression shopping is a coping technique that momentarily provides some relief.

What is the link between depression and shopping?

When we are feeling depressed, we experience a lack of motivation, low self worth, and feelings of hopelessness. Depression shopping is a coping technique that momentarily provides some relief. When we purchase something new, we temporarily feel a sense of excitement, and we get to experience a bit of dopamine- the neurotransmitter connected to feelings of pleasure and reward. We often create a story in our minds that the next item we purchase will be the catalyst for us to change our lifestyle and then we will gain a sense of control in our lives. This story is not just in our heads, though. Products are marketed to us through emotion, not necessarily through the practicality of an item. We are constantly sold happiness, friendship, fulfillment, and joy through advertising, so we believe on some level that purchasing the product will bring us the emotional experience the advertisement promised.

How do I stop the urge to shop when I feel depressed?

Here are a few ways to manage the urge to depression shop:

1. Notice if there is a story connected to the item(s) you are planning to buy. What do you believe this item may change in your life? How likely is it that it will create the desired outcome? Is there another way to attain the desired changes?

2. Manage the impulsivity of depression shopping. Give yourself a certain amount of time to have an item in your online cart before you purchase an item. Notice the feeling you get from adding the item to your cart- there is important information about this feeling that you can explore. For example, if you believe a new stylish jacket would be something you would want to show off to your friends, you may be feeling the desire to connect with people. With that insight, you can reach out to a friend instead of making a purchase.

3. Unsubscribe to shopping email lists and unfollow brands on social media that you often find yourself purchasing unnecessary items from.

If you feel like your depression shopping habit has become more than you can manage and is something you need help with, please give me a call. I am able to work with anyone located in the state of California.

Disclaimer

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

Tori Smith 4/21/22 Tori Smith 4/21/22

What is Self-Soothing?

Self soothing is the way we calm ourselves down when we are feeling overwhelmed and activated. Here are some quick and easy self- soothing tips you can practice.

What is self-soothing?

Self soothing is the way we calm ourselves down when we are feeling overwhelmed and activated. Self soothing is learned in relation to others and is a tool we can use when we are alone. When we are very little, our caretakers help soothe us when we don’t have the words to say what we are feeling or what we need. They tend to us and soothe us so we are able to regulate our own emotions. This is called co-regulation and is the first way we learn how to calm ourselves down during difficult emotional experiences. As we get older we must learn to soothe ourselves. Self soothing can help with any type of emotional activation, whether it is sadness, anxiety, stress, worry, or anger.

Does self-soothing actually work?

Self soothing works because we are directly accessing our nervous system to create a sense of safety in our bodies. Often times we are physically safe but are experiencing an emotion that feels very distressing, so the self soothing is a tool that builds a sense of self-support and care even while feeling that emotional distress.

What does the research say about self-soothing?

The research shows that when we are being judgmental toward ourselves our brains process those thoughts as if someone else is saying the hurtful things to us. This is why it is so important to speak kindly to yourself and practice self-soothing, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed or distressed.

“Research in brain science has found that those same areas of the brain that respond to external threat are activated by self-criticism. And just as the brain developed in the context of a relationship with others, the relationship we have with ourselves also has the potential to put us in a state of threat.”*

Examples of self-soothing

Gentle and neutral self talk is an effective self soothing tool. We want to try to talk to ourselves in a calm, grounded manner— the way our caretakers may have spoken to us when we needed care. Neutral self talk is simply stating facts like “I am noticing I am feeling overwhelmed and my heart rate has increased. I am noticing a fluttering sensation in my stomach. I feel calm and grounded though my feet.” That way we are not trying to force ourselves out of an uncomfortable experience, but are practicing being present with what is happening in the moment.

I often recommend the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise to my clients who are practicing self soothing. This is to say out loud or to yourself 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel the texture of, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can see. This exercise refocuses your attention and promotes a sense of safety and calm in the body.

If you struggle to self-soothe and often feel like you can’t control your emotions, please give me a call. I work with residents across the state of California.

Disclaimer

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

*References: Golden, Bernard. “How Self-Criticism Threatens You in Mind and Body.” Psychology Today, 12 Jan. 2019, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/201901/how-self-criticism-threatens-you-in-mind-and-body#:~:text=Research%20in%20brain%20science%20has,in%20a%20state%20of%20threat.

Tori Smith 4/12/22 Tori Smith 4/12/22

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Tips for Coping After a Breakup

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Cognitive Behavioral therapy is a therapeutic approach that targets the connection between our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions so that we can shift from unhelpful or unhealthy patterns into healthier ways of thinking and behaving. CBT is most often used to treat symptoms of anxiety and depression. Oftentimes the connections between our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are automatic, so we don't always understand why we are feeling or acting the way we are. CBT can give you an opportunity to gain insight about these thoughts and reactions so that you gain control in shifting them. Because CBT is so effective in treating anxiety, it can also be a helpful tool for you if you are experiencing the anxiety that can come after a breakup.

Three CBT Practices for Coping After a Breakup

1. Reframing. A helpful tool rooted in CBT is called "reframing". Reframing is the practice of noticing an unhelpful automatic thought and shifting it to a more balanced, neutral thought. For example, someone might have the thought "I'll never be good enough for a relationship, and no one will ever love me again" after a breakup, so the reframe could be something like "I'm noticing a thought of being alone. I don't know what the future looks like but what I know right now is I am feeling lonely and may need to reach out to a friend for support."

2. Journaling. Another helpful tool I often recommend to my clients who are grieving a relationship is to journal. Journaling gives you an opportunity to slow your thoughts down. When someone is experiencing anxiety and their thoughts are racing, they might feel out of control and overwhelmed. Journaling stops those spinning thoughts in their tracks because once the person starts writing they can then be present with each individual letter and word of the thoughts they are putting on paper. You can also write down your automatic negative thoughts in one column on a page, and in the other column write down 'what else could be true"—thoughts that are neutral/ positive.

3. Thought Stopping. Thought stopping is a very helpful tool that can be used after a breakup. Usually after people experience a breakup, they start to become anxious about the things they must have done wrong or wonder why they weren't good enough. As humans, we want answers and a sense of control, especially when we are feeling hurt, but thinking negative thoughts about ourselves may only prolong the pain. When you notice you are spiraling in your negative thoughts, simply imagine a bright red stop sign, and gently redirect your thoughts. Make sure you are being compassionate towards yourself while you redirect your focus.

South Bay Therapy Anxiety Burnout Breakup

Leave room for Grief

While CBT can be very effective in helping you reframe your experience and can help you cope, it is important that you give yourself the space to grieve without immediately trying to change what you are feeling. A huge part of going through and processing a breakup is experiencing deep feelings of grief and sadness, and that is completely normal. Our culture places a lot of pressure on feeling happy all of the time, so we often end up pathologizing completely natural emotions, and feeling like something is wrong with us if we are still upset by a breakup after a certain period of time. There is no correct or incorrect timeline in processing your feelings after a breakup, just make sure you are being kind to yourself as you go through it. Trust that this experience is temporary.

Disclaimer

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals and graduate student heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

Tori Smith 3/23/22 Tori Smith 3/23/22

Are You Burned Out? [Symptom Assessment]

If you’re wondering if you are burned out, it is likely that you understand the term on a gut level, and are feeling completely exhausted and depleted. Our bodies are great at giving us signs and signals that we are at capacity and burned out, but we don’t always listen to those cues until we hit a point where we can no longer ignore the feelings.

What is Burnout?

The term “burnout” has become increasingly popular, especially in the context of the workplace. If you’re wondering if you are burned out, it is likely that you understand the term on a gut level, and are feeling exhausted and depleted. Our bodies are great at giving us signs and signals that we are at capacity and burned out, but we don’t always listen to those cues until we hit a point where we can no longer ignore the feelings.

The World Health Organization’s (2018) International Classification of Diseases for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics (11th ed.; ICD-11) defines burnout as “a syndrome resulting from chronic, unmanaged workplace stress”.

Burnout Symptoms Quiz

Take this quick and easy assessment (Dolan et al., 2015) to find out if you’re experiencing burnout at work:

Q: Overall, based on your definition of burnout, how would you rate your level of burnout? (Pick the answer from 1-5 that fits best.)
[1] I enjoy my work. I have no symptoms of burnout.
[2] Occasionally I am under stress, and I don’t always have as much energy as I once did, but I don’t feel burned out.
[3] I am definitely burning out and have one or more symptoms of burnout, such as physical and emotional exhaustion.
[4] The symptoms of burnout that I’m experiencing won’t go away. I think about frustration at work a lot.
[5] I feel completely burned out and often wonder if I can go on. I am at the point where I may need some changes or may need to seek some sort of help.
A score of 3 or more suggests you have at least one burnout symptom and you could benefit from talking to a mental health professional.

Yes, the assessment is that simple! If you’re surprised by how straightforward the assessment is, this is a great opportunity to validate yourself. These thoughts and feelings you have been having are important, and they are not all in your head.

The most common pattern I see in my practice when it comes to workplace burnout is that my clients know on an intuitive level that they are physically and emotionally exhausted, but they feel shameful and worried that something is wrong with them because they “can’t handle” work stressors the way they used to. You are NOT a failure if you’re feeling burned out. Let me reiterate that: you have done nothing wrong and have not failed if you feel like you’ve reached your mental and emotional limit at work. The reason we have such strong emotional experiences to the situations in our lives is because out bodies are providing us crucial information. Learning to listen to these feelings is critical in healing from burnout.

Let’s look at these feelings of exhaustion the same way we would look at another normal bodily signal. I’ll use the example of thirst. You know intuitively what it means to feel thirsty, and you know what you need to do in order to provide your body what it is asking for. People do not get shamed for feeling thirsty, or told they “should be able to push through” the feeling and practice stronger will power. When you feel thirsty, you listen to the feeling, drink water, and no longer feel thirsty. Your body no longer needs to communicate the feeling with you because the need has been met. Exhaustion and burnout function the same way. When we give ourselves the opportunity to rest and connect with activities and people we love, our bodies no longer need to send us the signal that we need rest, recovery, and connection.

Signs of Burnout

Feeling overwhelmed and unable to manage stress in the workplace does not only have consequences at work. I often see clients who become irritable and disconnected from their personal relationships, and don’t realize that these reactions are linked to how they feel at work. Other clients experience something quite opposite, where they feel good outside of work and are able to balance their personal relationships, but the contrast between feeling frustrated and angry while at work and happy outside of it magnifies how unhappy they are with their job, which leads to more resentment and burnout.

There are three main symptoms to be aware of when assessing yourself for signs of burnout. These are physical and emotional exhaustion, disconnection from work, and a lack of feeling personally accomplished.

Physical and Emotional Exhaustion

Lack of sympathy and empathy. You may notice that you have less access to emotionally connecting with other people because you have “no room” left for the feelings of others.
Feeling extremely tired. Even if you have gotten plenty of sleep or have been able to take a vacation, you do not feel refreshed when you return to work.
Feeling irritable. You feel a hypersensitivity to the people and things around you that make you feel annoyed and upset.
Feeling numb. You feel like you are operating on autopilot, and just go through the motions. Maybe your family or friends have noticed a shift in your mood.
Noticing headaches, stomachaches, or other unusual pain.

Disconnection From Work

Feeling checked out. The relationships with clients and coworkers you once had now feels unbearable. You might begin to isolate and keep to yourself, because the thought of small talk or extended conversations because you just don’t care anymore.
Disengaging from work relationships. You begin to remove yourself from conversations and activities at work you used to enjoy because you become increasingly frustrated with workplace policies or others’ behavior. You feel confused as to why you no longer feel excited by or engaged in the work you do.
Seeking distractions. You may notice that the time you spend scrolling through social media may increase, as you hope to distract from your responsibilities at work because the tasks can feel daunting. You may also notice you seek comfort foods are drugs and alcohol for instant relief from work stress once you get home.
Work Dread. You are probably very familiar with the idea of “Sunday scaries” because the thought of having to go to work the next morning fills you with dread. You notice yourself checking the clock throughout the day on Sundays and weeknights counting down the hours you have left until you have to go back to work

Lack of Feeling Personally Accomplished

Impostor Syndrome. You feel worried that you will make a mistake and your bosses or coworkers are going to “find out” that you have no idea what you are doing. No amount of praise feels reassuring. You are terrified of being seen as a failure.
Questioning your career path. You are constantly fantasizing about other jobs, or comparing how you are feeling to how you assume other people feel about their jobs. You may feel like you have made a huge mistake
Sense of meaninglessness. You may feel a sense of purposelessness in your life, and feel disconnected from relationships, even spiritual relationships, you once felt aligned with. You may question the decisions you’ve made in your life, and worry that you will never feel better

Heal From Burnout

If your daily work experience is consistently stressful and is feeling emotionally unsustainable, it is a great time to reach out for help. You know yourself best, so trust that the shift you have felt is real and it is important. You can heal from burnout, and I am here to support you through it. If you live in California, reach out for a free consultation call. You do not have to feel this way any longer.

Disclaimer

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

Tori Smith 3/8/21 Tori Smith 3/8/21

How to Choose a Therapist in California

Finding a therapist who is a good fit for you can feel daunting. Here are a few of the most popular ways to begin the search:

Word of mouth. If you feel comfortable, ask your friends and family members for the names of therapists they have had positive experiences with. If the therapist they recommend has no availability, that person will be able to provide you with the names and contact info of therapists they work with and trust.
Ask your doctor. Primary care physicians often have very strong connections to mental health providers in their area. They will likely be able to provide you with the names of local therapists they feel would be a good fit for you.
Search engines and databases. Using specific search terms like “therapy for anxiety in El Segundo” or “Los Angeles trauma counselor” will show listings of therapists who treat the issue you are looking to work through. Databases like Psychology Today and Therapy Den offer listings of local therapists where you can search for specific specialties. Now that many therapists provide virtual therapy, you are not limited to seeing someone in your area, and can see a therapist from anywhere in your state.

Once you have found a therapist who you are interested in meeting with, you can reach out to them to schedule a phone call. The initial phone call you have with them will give you a sense of how it will feel to work together. If you have any questions about therapy or about the therapist’s approach to your specific area of need, now is a great time to ask! If you leave the call feeling hopeful and understood, chances are that you have found someone who you will connect with.

The most important part of therapy is the relationship you build with your counselor. While it is important to find someone who specializes in working with your specific needs, it is the trust and connection that is created between you and your therapist that allows for meaningful work to occur.

The first step is the hardest to take, and it will be so worth the effort when you find a therapist you enjoy working with. Please reach out to me if you have any other questions about finding a therapist!

About the Author

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping young professionals heal from anxiety and burnout, and quiet the critical internal voices of perfectionism, so they can live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

Tori Smith 1/31/21 Tori Smith 1/31/21

Understanding our Freeze & Collapse Trauma Responses.

You may be very familiar with the term “fight or flight”, and you might also be curious about the purposes and neurological mechanisms that are behind that system.

You may be very familiar with the term “fight or flight”, and you might also be curious about the purposes and neurological mechanisms that are behind that system. As a therapist who works primarily with clients who are experiencing chronic stress or who have experienced trauma, I see the ways that fear and stress responses impact people’s daily lives.

There are more than just two ways our bodies can react to a perceived threat. We can find ourselves attempting to fight or flee from the threat, but we may also react in ways that are less talked about; we might “freeze” or even “collapse”. Our limbic system is the part of our brain in charge of our fear responses. This part of our brains is highly evolved and attuned to perceiving threats, and can become even more sensitive to certain environments if we have experienced a trauma, causing anxiety even after the person is “safe” again.

The point that I want to make the most clear when talking about our automatic threat responses is just that. They are automatic. We do not have a choice in how our bodies react during a highly traumatic or stressful situation, because our nervous system steps in and temporarily takes over in order for us to survive the threat. There is quite a large stigma in our culture about how people “should” or “shouldn’t” respond to a traumatic situation. Comments like, "Well why didn’t they try to fight or run away?” are incredibly harmful, and are indicative of a culture that does not understand our biological responses to fear. By understanding and normalizing the entire fear response spectrum from fight to collapse, we can create more compassionate language in the way we respond to survivors.

Freeze response can be thought of as the “deer in headlights” response. We know that there is a threat but our bodies become frozen with sympathetic, hyper-aroused energy. In other words, the fear response has been turned on, and the heart rate increases so that oxygen can flow to the muscles. This immobility is not a choice, it is our body’s way of trying to prepare for the next step but it is unable to release the energy until the threat passes. Clients will often describe this experience as “I felt stuck” or “I couldn’t move” or “I felt paralyzed”. The long term effects of a freeze response can look like anxiety, chronic pain, migraines, and other body based symptoms.

The collapse response looks very different from freeze from a biological perspective. Collapse is a state of hypo-arousal. When a person begins to experience this response, they may not be able to speak, and they feel detached or disconnected from their body. Their heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature lower. If you are with someone in this state, you may notice they have a “blank stare” as they become less aware of their internal and external world. There is a decrease in muscle tone, as the body is no longer attempting to fight or flee from the response. This is a fear response that can lead to a person fainting.

If you have experienced any of these responses at some point in your life, you understand how confusing it may feel to not be in control of your own body. Understanding that your body did its best in order to protect you may help you reframe the experience if you struggle to make sense of your reaction. Much of the work I do with clients is providing a space for them to process their experience and then regain control of the beliefs they have attached to traumatic moment. Therapy can be a helpful tool in understanding and managing your own fear and responses. If you want to know if therapy might be right for you, please take a look at my FAQ page.

Fight, Flight, Freeze Trauma Response — Source: https://www.nicabm.com/how-the-nervous-system-responds-to-trauma/

Anxiety and Trauma Response Exaamples — Source: https://www.nicabm.com/the-difference-between-freeze-and-shutdown-trauma-responses/

DISCLAIMER

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I am a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Victoria Smith, LCSW, Inc., an online and in-person therapy practice focused on helping adults of all ages heal trauma and symptoms of PTSD, recover from perfectionism, and connect more with their emotional experiences so they’re able to live more fulfilling, connected lives. If you’re a California resident, schedule a free consultation call to learn more.

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Blog

Embracing your choice to live authentically

Navigating Difficult Conversations with Family: Setting Boundaries & Celebrating Your Childfree Choice

Celebrating Your Choice & Navigating grief

Building Your Community

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

What does it mean to be highly sensitive?

Why Highly Sensitive People Are Prone to Anxiety and Burnout

How Somatic Therapy in Los Angeles Can Help

1. Breathing Techniques

2. Grounding Exercises

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

4. Mindfulness and Meditation

5. Somatic Practices

6. Self-Compassion Practices

1. Body Awareness and Mindfulness

2. Movement and Expression

3. Breathing Techniques

4. Tapping into the Unconscious

1. Reduction of Physical Tension

2. Emotional Relief

3. Improved Self-Awareness

4. Healing from Past Trauma

1. Fight Response

2. Flight Response

3. Freeze Response

4. Fawn Response

5. Collapse Response

1. Relationships

2. Mental Health

3. Physical Health

4. Behavioral Patterns

What is Somatic Therapy?

How Somatic Psychotherapy in California Can Benefit Highly Sensitive People

What are Anxiety and Burnout?

Why do I feel anxious and burned out?

Will I lose motivation if I don’t feel stressed?

How therapy in California can help you overcome anxiety and burnout

Why We Feel Too Self-Aware

What is Bottom-Up Processing?

Why Bottom-Up Somatic Processing Works for Highly Intellectual, SELF-AWARE People

How Bottom-Up Processing Helps You Get More Familiar with Your Emotions

Starting with Bottom-Up somatic Processing in Therapy

Victoria Smith, LCSW

About the Author

What is Climate Anxiety and Eco-Stress?

Seeking Support for Climate Anxiety

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About the Author

What is the link between depression and shopping?

How do I stop the urge to shop when I feel depressed?

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About the Author

What is self-soothing?

Does self-soothing actually work?

What does the research say about self-soothing?

Examples of self-soothing

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About the Author

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Three CBT Practices for Coping After a Breakup

Leave room for Grief

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About the Author

What is Burnout?

Burnout Symptoms Quiz

Signs of Burnout

Physical and Emotional Exhaustion

Disconnection From Work

Lack of Feeling Personally Accomplished

Heal From Burnout

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About the Author

About the Author

DISCLAIMER

VICTORIA SMITH, LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER 104872

Therapy in California

2615 PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY SuiTE 215

HERMOSA BEACH, CA 90254

victoria@vsmiththerapy.com

(424)253-5781